I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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