just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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