Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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