Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
