Who did Billy Mays play for?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
