You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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