i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
