how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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