i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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