i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
