at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
