Just cropdusted the office
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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