Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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