she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
