Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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