Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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