Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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