Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i would punch a child for taco bell
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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