toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
barbara walters just said penis...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
