a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
