my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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