he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
