He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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