I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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