Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I supernannyed him into submission
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
