girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
