I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
