you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My vagina just recognized that song.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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