Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
honey bunches of taint.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
