I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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