Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
