? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
