that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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