Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
worst night to have a conscience
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
