So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
