You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize