Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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