he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
