I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
