I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
