Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
