if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You've changed since you got that strap on
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
