I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
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