Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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