The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
