if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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