There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
