Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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