i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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