i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
