you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
