whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
